Envy
by katkah
Summary: She was born as the first, and never really belonged anywhere. This is the story of Envy, the first of seven immortals. Oneshot


The night I died was beautiful.  
I mean it… It was spring, and here in the mountains it always meant everything in bloom,  
- sakuras, cherries, weeds, even some girls, and the birds sang all day and night.  
I heard a nightingale. I love them. Their music is so beautiful and for everyone… and the one up me seemed so sad when I was dying. As if saying goodbye.  
So, yes, it was a amazing night. I almost regret I had to leave, but I didn't want my family to be in danger because of me…  
Almost.  
But let's just get on with who I am. Or who? Maybe what.  
A thousand words wouldn't describe, and you wouldn't get it either way.  
So let me tell you my story. That will be best.  
I was born in China, in the age of Chinese mythology.

My mother died at childbirth. They say it was her destiny, because right when they saw me they knew the father wasn't anyone from the village.  
Not a human.  
I don't remember my mother much. I just remember her face a bit… very, very slightly. She resembled aunt Mei a lot. And I remember blood, very, very much blood.  
Nobody could save mother, but I did survive, even if I wasn't supposed to.  
Oh, and I remember the faces of my family, when they saw my eyes. My eyes… they were yellow.  
Ha-ha, yes. They frightened out, of course. Some wanted to leave me somewhere out in the forest, but aunt Mei said she would keep me.  
,,It's our own blood too, afterall," she defended me.  
Oh, how I miss her.

When I was three, they took me to the temple for the first time.  
The old priest, we called her granny, pointed at me and stated;  
,,Demon."  
Nobody knew, what was that supposed to mean. I knew. I felt. I stared into her eyes for a while, then she sighed and said nothing more.  
Demon. So everyone started to call me demon girl.  
My family hated it, mostly Mei. They forbid me to go out see someone, only to our own garden. Until I was five it didn't bother me, but then I started to be lonely.  
I wanted to go out see the village, the people, to play, to discover… maybe to find out if I'm so different, like they say.  
I tapped to Mei.  
,,Can you let me out?"  
She first precisely studied the scroll she held, then precisely put it aside.  
,,We talked about this before."  
,,I don't want to go far away…"  
,,No."  
,,I want to go to school."  
This caught her attention.  
,,Really?"  
,,Yes."  
,,Alright."  
So, I started going to school with the other kids.  
I quickly got used to the stares I got everywhere I went, and soon, they got used to me too. After two years the people took me as one of them, and the children too.  
Well, there were a few bullies at first. But nobody ever said I didn't learn combat before. Since then, they leaved me alone and among the younger kids I earned respect.  
I found two friends; a girl and a boy. The girl was a small prankster, which angered the teachers a lot, and the boy a small, quiet, clever kid. We often studied together.  
I've been the cleverest of the class, and soon of the whole school, and teachers praised me a lot, so the girl's mom said I should teach her a bit. That's how we met each other and since then we were friends.  
I…it's a bit strange, how I don't remember any names, not even mine, but I do remember Mei's…  
She didn't care how everyone said I wasn't human.  
,,Everybody is what they decide to be," she stated, when I was nine. ,,and if you decide to be human, no rumors can change that."  
That was the problem.  
It started very innocently, like a normal girl talk between two friends. Nine year old girls talked about things like that a lot.  
,,Do you ever think of marriage?" my friend once asked me.  
I snapped out of thoughts about lunch and turned to her.  
,,What?"  
,,Ma-ri-a-ge. Earth calling," she waved her hand in front of my eyes.  
,,Oh. Sorry."  
Well, I regretted the day we asked Mei about marriage (when my friend was over for dinner) at that moment.  
,,Yeah, marriage. You here? Do you want to get married when you grow up?"  
,,I don't think about growing up very much," I said bluntly.  
,,Ooh come on! It's important to think about future!"  
I laughed, I didn't even know why.  
,,Don't tell me it didn't came on your mind at least once before!"  
,,Well, once," I remembered.  
,,Yay! Who?"  
,,I don't know yet, who. What about yo-"  
,,Hey! You didn't think about who would you at least accept?"  
,,I'm asking now! What did you think?"  
,,Me?" She told me his name. ,,But I think he's old," she snorted.  
My eyes widened.  
,,What? Twenty years isn't that much of a difference…"  
,,Of course it is!"'  
I sighed. To argue with her was pointless.  
,,Suit yourself," I rolled eyes.  
,,And you? Who did you thought about?"  
,,It's not a who. I would kind of accept… oh, well…"  
,,WHAT?" she jumped. I kind of expected she will scream any moment.  
,,You will think I'm strange."  
,,No I wont, I promise!"  
,,…A dragon maybe… or a fox demon."  
She stared for a while. Her head dropped to one side, then to the other.  
,,I'd get the dragon," she said. ,,they are very respected, mighty and all. Though, they are scary!"  
,,No they are not. You at morning is scary."  
She laughed and poked my side.  
,,And what about the fox demon? They ARE scary!"  
,,Maybe," I puzzled.  
,,Geez. You sure talk a lot. Well, we will then sacrifice you to a nine tail! I bet it will be eternally grateful!"  
She joked, of course.  
,,What means eternally?" I asked.  
,,Forever."  
,,Oh. So a nine tail is immortal?"  
,,I guess," she shrugged.  
The rest of the way, until we got in front of my house, went silently.

When I was ten they took me to sacrifice to the nine tailed fox for the first time.  
I was very hyper the whole day. It was a big event for me, bigger than going to school, and the more that not all the kids could go. I've been recommended by the granny priest.  
Which surprised me.  
,,Why me?" I winked during the way. She smiled, stroked my head and said;  
,,You behave well."  
,,I'm not the only one."  
,,Also I think you are a kid that won't anger the nine tail fox when you'll be cleaning."  
,,I'll be cleaning there? REALLY?"  
It was a big honor to clean after the ceremony was over. It meant I could see the fox – if I was lucky.  
I've been just holding the broom and taking care of the ashes, when I heard a faint rustle.  
First I thought it was just the wind, but when I looked up and saw two crimson eyes in front of me, I knew it wasn't.  
The broom almost fell from my hands.  
,,I never saw you here before," it said. Or, I should say, he. I heard it.  
,,I'm new," I said and I was proud I didn't stutter.  
He inclined his white fox head. I felt something warm behind me – when I looked, it was one of his tails. The other eight were leaning beside him.  
,,Do you show like this to everyone?" I dared asking.  
He smirked.  
,,No."  
I felt a breath on my neck.  
,,Are you afraid?" he asked.  
I felt the tail being around me like a snake.  
,,No."  
I stared straight back on him.  
,,You're really beautiful, do you know?"  
This time I stared back confused. No, I did not know.  
I was told I look different than the others, but I knew that. That I have…  
,,I like your eye color. It looks like young leaves."  
..strange eye color… but never that someone liked my looks.  
He smirked again, and I kind of didn't knew, what at.  
,,Thanks," I winked, totally shocked.  
This time he actually laughed and with one rustle of the wind he disappeared.  
When I ran back home, dinner was already made.  
,,Hey, dear, where were you?" Mei jumped on me. ,,And why, for Heaven's sake, you have so red cheeks?"  
Oh, so THAT'S what he laughed at…

Just to put it straight, for three years I've been going there whenever I could.  
For three years he always showed up, sometimes as a fox, sometimes as a human. I did not mind either form. And I was happy. Really happy. Because I had the impression of belonging somewhere, although I had snake-like eyes, weird thoughts and I looked younger than I was. But I was glad… all the other kids were normal, but what I had? I had a fox demon.  
Then one day I got sick.  
Nobody knew, what the sickness was, but it seemed it wasn't anything anyone in the village knew. Not even granny priest knew, what to do with me.  
Everybody assumed I will die. And nobody was very concerned.  
Not that I cared, but… when I saw how when other kids caught a simple cold and everybody was all over them, something new came to me.  
It hit me like a wave of heat and cold at once, when lying in bed, breathing heavily, it was so alien yet so familiar I got scared. The feeling of being different, less important, distant, that I wanted something but knew I wouldn't have it – and someone else did.  
It was very bitter.  
Yet comfortable, more than the bed I was lying in…  
Envy, I got it, shivering from the fever I had – it was very high. I felt really weak and I knew I won't last long.  
I knew envy was a sin, and people despised it, but it was just too natural. I didn't want to try to get rid of it.  
I was here alone in darkness, since people were afraid they might catch the sickness.  
But not quite…  
I felt a familiar presence in the room even before he spoke.  
,,What's up with you?"  
,,Nothing," I said with a choking voice.  
I felt his hand on my forehead.  
,,How did you got into the house?" I whispered. ,,I think Mei had something on the door…"  
,,I'll tell you after," he said and got up. After what? After I'm dead?  
I did not know yet he actually will.  
Suddenly, I didn't even knew where the strength came from, I reached and grabbed his sleeve.  
He looked at me questioningly.  
,,Don't leave, please," I got from me. ,,stay over for the night…"  
He didn't ask, if I was sure, nor he pointed out I had a fever. He just stayed.  
I wonder, how many sins you can commit in one day. I did two.  
I heard a nightingale singing outside.

The day after when I woke, the pain was gone. But I… kind of… every sound around me seemed very distant, when I tried to open my eyes I couldn't. I couldn't move either, although I felt where the parts of my body were.  
Then I realized what gravely silence there was.  
But from what I heard it was a funeral.  
I almost got a heart attack when I realized it was mine, if…well… if I had any heartbeat.  
They had a right to assume I was dead. But I was NOT!  
I wanted to point that out, but besides my thoughts nothing mine moved.  
You can't imagine how scared I was.  
Then I heard screams. A lot of very scared screams, I recognized a lot of voices.  
Then I heard a silent growl and something lifted me from the… ground? Something I was lying on.  
,,Don't worry."  
A whisper only I heard. I felt my ear kind of twitch, then finally I heard everything properly and I gasped, when feeling I flied through the air.  
Then I moved, when feeling ground under me and started to cough. My heart for a change started to race like crazy, but I was alive.  
I immediately opened my eyes and sat up.  
,,Welcome back," I saw a grinning fox in front of my face.  
I held up my hands to my head to see if I'm really alright, and found I had pointy ears.  
My hair, until that black, gained a strange green shade, and up my butt there was a small fox tail. White with green ending.  
,,Oh dear Heaven."

After a while I figured I did not age at all. I still looked like a twelve year old girl at the age of eighteen.  
Someone would welcome eternal youth and life… I didn't. I accepted, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it.  
Yet, it gave me a peace of mind to finally be myself.  
But I figured one thing; I had very good intuition, and that told me I'm just the first one.  
Seven, it told me. There's going to be seven of immortals like you.  
Seven sins.  
And me? Well, to put it straight, I gave myself a new name;  
Envy.  
In May I went away from China.  
I'll be eternally (oh how I love the word) grateful the fox that saved me, and that was the only one ever accepting me as the thing I was. Maybe even if I wasn't fully the same as him.  
So, on the ship I wondered, where to go next. Who is next? And maybe, just maybe I already knew.  
Pride, I closed my eyes.  
I'll have a sister next!  
I always wanted one.


End file.
